(A letter to IITD-82 Bachelors – a WhatsApp Group)
Let us Disrobe Ourselves and find the Real Self
This write-up refers to a post in response to X’s on this forum suggesting
that we should not post controversial messages on this forum.
Pardon me, I differ: Do we really
want to limit this group to jokes and memories of hostel days? If we do so, will
any vitality and purpose be left in the group?
Our environment has changed - we need to change: Almost all that we liked during IIT days is no longer relevant to
us now. Even the warmth we feel when we meet now is short-lived. I have seen
those meetings – they are full of joy for a while, but the joyous moments do
not last for long. We have all changed with time; our tastes, preferences, and
constraints have changed. Therefore, we need to change our ways – old ways and
old memories no longer have the same attraction and thrill.
Virtual groups are large and diverse, and we have grown old, stiff,
and wise. Therefore, ego clashes are natural: In pre-social-media days at IIT, our groups were small, and we
had the choice of choosing and changing our friends. Moreover, we were still in
the learning process. Therefore, the conflicts were less, and we could go along
well within a small group. But things have changed now. Our social group is large
and diverse - it encompasses all – even those who differ and contradict. Moreover,
we have grown old and wise - there is hardly anything left to learn or worth
learning. Therefore, ego clashes on the Whatsapp group are but natural.
We are different and limited – there is still much to learn: Instead of blocking the irritant and sleeping comfortably in our
cocoons, we need to learn, change, and grow with time, for -
a) Our knowledge
and experiences are limited, both in time and space.
b)
Our friends, social
groups, books, and other sources of information are limited.
c)
Our ideals,
goals, preferences, and concerns are different.
d)
Our heritage
- religion, language, and caste etc are different.
Thus,
our perceptions, conclusions, and opinions are spontaneously different. Knowing
that we are all limited and different, we must continue to remind ourselves that
perhaps I do not know the Truth, perhaps my idea is not the supreme. Or it is
enough, it is all – we have reached the peak.
If there are higher peaks, we need to follow some rules: If we are aware of our limitations, this group can be quite
beneficial to us for we can learn from others what escaped our attention. But
for that, we must follow a few rules.
a)
We shall not presume
that one who is opposing our views is casting aspersions on us. He is simply putting
his views on the table. We can accept or reject his views.
b)
When somebody
shares his views, we need not condemn it, outcast it or drown it. We can
accept or reject his views.
Perhaps, we have
noted that any conversation has many ingredients – information, analysis, opinion,
and an effort to dominate or justify oneself. All this is mixed and rides in
involuntarily on our words. We need to be vigilant – we can enrich ourselves
with the information, learn from the logic and ignore the opinion and the ego
content.
Thus,
if we do not take things personally, avoid being touchy, and keep our emotions under
check, we can avoid conflicts. In turn, we can learn much from the opposite and
annoying that we had missed or not accounted for.
Let us not wear a blind: What
‘X’ shared might have hurt some, but I think what he did was right. It was an eye-opener, at least for me – I came to know of a harsh reality which I did not
know before - of course, I had to contain my emotions to view the video; nevertheless,
it was informative. It is for us to accept or reject what is shared – but to
stop anyone from sharing his views – I think it is to imprison oneself.
Share with an equanimous mind: But how should one, who is sharing anything, operate – he should
do so with an equanimous mind and simply share his experience and knowledge
without condemning or opposing anyone else's views, without a sense of
superiority for all that we know is incomplete and imperfect.
Can we go back to ragging days and disrobe ourselves - we will
find the Real ‘I’: Beyond this
exchange of information and opinions, there is something more fundamental that
we must not forget – i.e. we are different from our opinions. This is
one basic fact which we always tend to forget, and it is the major cause of all
conflicts.
a)
We were neither
born with a view nor we will die with the view we possess now.
b) We picked up
the view we have now in the course of life, we are changing even now, albeit
unknowingly, and we will continue to change in future. This is what life is –
ever-changing, ever-growing. The moment we stop changing, we die. Then why
are we stuck up with any view?
Once you know that you are different from your opinion, you will
find that behind the change and growth there is something that remains fixed - that
is the awareness of oneself – the Real ‘I’.
Love thy opponent: The day we
understand that we are different from our opinions, the problem of conflicts of
opinions will be automatically resolved. No more we will associate our
opinions with our real ‘I’. No more we would hear the undertone of ‘holier
than thou’ or ‘brighter than thou’. Instead, I would love my opponent for
he gave me a chance to unrobe, enlarge, and move nearer to Real ‘I’.
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